Sunday, February 05, 2012'♥
I MISS HIM, THE USED-TO-BE HIM.
He is popular, but now, popular in a bad way; being flirty. He nvr realize that, i don't know why. Even the flirtiest guy i know would even ask if he's being too flirty cause he'll stop his actions. But he always think it is fine talking mushy things to every girl, and yes, I'm very sure he knew 90% of the girls in school. In fact, he has more girl-friends as compared to guy-friends. It's not wrong, i know some guys tend to be more easy-interactive with girls, but don't you think the way he treat every girl is too overboard? I think so. However, imma bias source, cause i like him, and eventually thinks that his every action is flirty. Well, even to really good girl-friends, isn't those conversation too cheesy? I should stop talking about how flirty he is, cause i still can't find the exact words to describe it, unless you see for yourself.
Sec school friends came over my place today for our annual CNY steamboat. This year, he's kinda not interacting with us anymore. It's more like he and his phone only. Im so afraid we'll all lose him one day. And it really hurts to see him drifting away from us. He's not only someone i love dearly, he is also a really good friend of mine. Although i know he barely treats me as his friends now.... I really really miss him ): I miss how i walk to canteen everyday after school ends and see him waiting for me to go home tgt. Now, I'm kinda used to his absence from my life, I'm used to how he's gonna treat me, I'm used to how he'll see me as invincible, and yes, I'm used to how he'll text sweet msges to girls everyday. Esp to the girl who looks annoying. I prefer he goes for Shalynn, she's so much prettier, and i believe someone who has better character than Hillary. I hate how Hillary acts around when I'm near her, esp always talking abt wk loudly to others. The feeling sucks, but who cares! I don't really know Hillary and i can't judge her. But i pretty sure wk will like her not just because she's very nice to him.... i hope.
Monday, January 23, 2012'♥
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
Ohyeah!! It's CNY again, my favorite! I used to look super forward to CNY cause WK will always bring me to Hongbao river after a CNY-related movie. But this year.. nope, still hoping he could though. I've been thinking just now, how's his CNY coming along. I guess as usual? He won't want to join in for visiting. I asked him over to my place for reunion dinner this yr, cause i know his mum and him will probably not have any. But he told me he has, well, he lied. I don't know why. Yet, it's nothing surprising though. I lost count of how many times he lied just to avoid my invitation to ask him out. Im super thick skinned hor.
I did plan to ask him to join my family for visiting this year since my mum doesn't mind, but i guess he won't and he alr promise to go back to mac to work before i ask him. So, never mind. I wish he will though, i want him to let go of his past and join in the fun of CNY. He can't even speak to me in a proper tone now, nonetheless be happy going around visiting with me. He's actually a really well loved guy yknow. Once he post something about him being upset or what, he'll confirm plus chop receive many reply asking him to cheer up, blahblahblah. He has nice friends, :D Tht's glad to know. However, i really really really hope Hillary is a nice girl, treasure him girl, he's a guy hard to find.
Sunday, January 15, 2012'♥
Just Today
Yes, as my title suggest, it's just today... I'm feeling pretty down. I don't know why. I suddenly missed him a lot, our past especially. How he used to msg me last time, compared to now. How he used to treat me, compared to now. The difference really hurt a lot, cause I'm sure nobody wants to be in my shoe. But it's alright! It's better that he treat me like this so i can lead my life better. I think he's leading a pretty good life now. He's having a reunion dinner with his family this coming CNY, really happy for him. Interesting friends to make him happy, another Cheer for him! 2 girls that will always keep him company whenever he needs. He probably made up his mind who he has more feelings for, so another cheer i guess! Hope he makes his move fast though, don't keep that girl waiting. P.S. I don't really like the girl he's into now, she's not a very nice person i realize. But ohwell! Hopefully he will plan a better way of asking instead of just going straight to the point without saying ILY. Cause only a stupid girl like me will fall for. (He told his friend I'm stupid to accept him at that time, and i feel rather ashamed cause i know his friend. But, nvm!) I know I'm not can alr, i didn't regret that though, cause you nvr know if you don't accept at that time, when is he going to ask again. And we wouldn't go through all the "obstacles" which made our r/s more happening and made us love each other more.
Well, i kinda missed him just now, so i texted him. As usual, he took a long time to reply short msges, but its not his fault. Blame me for texting him. I did what he says, expect less. The feeling is odd, cause i know he don't want to reply me at all. He'll probably find me the most irritating Ex-girlfriend he could ever have. But who care, i got used to that feeling alr. His cold treatment bcame part and parcel of my life, i would feel even weirder if he treat me nice. But of course will happy la! Again, EXPECT LESS!!! And yes, i should end this post or i'll really break the guiness record of crying a river! Goodbye readers, he's really a nice guy.
P.S. Gives all my blessings to both of them, i hope she'll be happy, needless to say, HIM too.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012'♥
NVR ALONE, BOY
Hi readers! Im back. I was writing again just now, but i can't seem to focus writing in the book. Just thought of coming here instead. I'm probably too lazy to write after many mathematical sums just now.
Well, i went for a musical with WK 3 days ago. Yeap, as usual cold treatment and silence, nothing new. Followed by a few arguments but I'm kinda used to it. It's always been like this ever since we broke up. I did what he says, i stop expecting good treatments from him. He said he was alone handling the band, and it hurts him when i said i hate band, cause it's his band he's handling. Yes, i agree it's my fault for saying that. But i pretty sure i do not hate band now as much as i do at the starting of the year. I felt so much better and belonged to the band after band fest and cleaning up the store as a band. It was fun actually. Well, i still think he's selfish cause he apparently haven't thought of me. He hated me as a BM last time when he's with me, he also told me how much he didn't like sec school band when I'm the one handling. And I'm all alone now, going through craps that happens at home and have no one to turn to when he could just turn on his phone and thr'll be msges from those 2 girls or just talk to me cause i'll nvr leave him alone. Yet i know, he won't be thr for me whenever I'm lonely cause he simply feels irritated to see/hear me. No I'm not blaming him cause this JC band is really problematic. So i just kept quiet, i didn't want to say more, it only makes the situation worst. Sometimes or maybe most of the times, he's action towards me really hurts a lot, like really a lot. What to do, i brought all these upon myself. Who to blame? ME. So, I'm neither angry nor blaming him, never will.
It's the start of a new year now; I wish he would at least treat me as a friend, not just in front of our friends but all the time. Isn't too much right?
Friday, November 25, 2011'♥
I have to get this out of chest:
Tday's the release of retest results. So you either get advanced or retained. I was really happy because my 2 girlfs manage to advanced; THEY ARE GOING TO BE JC2 NEXT YEAR! And then his girl came out. She retained. It was then i saw his real worried look, looking for her everywhere. He couldn't concentrate talking to anyone else. Her name was all around his head, yeah, i somehow manage to see those, magical eyes. I can't show my sad face at that time right, or he'll start sighing again. But i was trembling, hands shaking and all. It became a natural impact every time i see them, yes, that was how bad my situation was. Can't help though, have to face this for another year. I wasn't happy when i knew she retained cause his sad face made my heart drop literally. Speechless again, my hands are still trembling while typing this. Im having band now, but i came out to type this so that i won't feel all so troubled later. I can't cry out to relief my chest. And the vomitting feeling came back, totally suck! Why so weak!!! D: Alright, going back to band! Cyaaaa! Wish me luck, and him too :)
'♥
So not moving on D:
Hi, readers! Well, I'm sure if there is. But, I'm back again! This is so lame to why i start blogging again, knowing that it's used-to-be-hot-favourite, but yeah, I'm still blogging. I have many things bottled up, maybe that's why. Yes, i talk to my friends. I appreciate their comments and advice, i love them, but thr's always this feeling that you hope someone really understands your position, the state you're in. He dated that girl, on 19th. I know, i should not care. He's serious this time, he wouldn't date a girl alone, and say that he just wants to be friends with her. Well, i won't elaborate much on this topic. But there's this question always bugging me, till now i can't answer myself. What if, he really takes his move and ask this girl to be his girlfriend? Can i take it? Will i smile and move on, congratulate that he got himself a really pretty and happy-go-lucky girl? I really want this, i want him to find a new girl, hug him when he needs one. Cause i better be prepared, he'll probably take action soon. I wanna stand up again. When he's gonna tell me he got her already, I'm gonna give him a really big hug and feel nothing about it, tell him, she's a lucky girl. Yes, that shall be it :) I will be fine.... probably.
Thursday, November 10, 2011'♥
TODAY MY LIFE BEGINS.
Well, i don't know why i put that as my title but yeah, I'm constantly reminding myself that today will be a brand new day. Apparently, its not working. T.T After so many months, I'm still grieving over the same guy, and that's kinda stupid. Friends has always been asking me to move on, he isn't worth it, blahblahblah. Yes, i know all these but i love this guy, i really do. Everyday is crazy, but yeah, i have to live that way. I tried all methods to stop thinking about the same old thing, however, it looks like they all failed. I want to ask him out, yet asking him out send my heart thumping like mad, just like his my crush or something. It isn't like the past anymore, i can see him anytime i want, he'll just appear. Well, i guess he has a new girl in his heart now. I don't know how far they've went, but i have a hunch things will blossom between them? Yeah, i think so. Although he doesn't admit to it, but yeah, he probably like this girl a lot. Ahaha, silly me. I really find myself stupid, like super stupid. He got me falling down again and again, yet i keep trying to stand up and keep trying to get him back. REAL SILLY right? Just like a cockroach, like what people always say, 打不死的蟑螂精神! Tomorrow is 11/11/11! Should i do a cliche action, and start posting a wish? Yes i should, but i'll do that in advance, so that my wish would be queuing right in front of the line of wishes. AHAHAHA!
I wish, he'll be happy, and happy and forever happy. YES!
Good-a-bye! I'll see when i get a feel to post again!
Monday, May 30, 2011'♥
JUNE HOLS ARE HERE!
Hi people, i'm once again.. back! Exams are over, results are coming back soon. Gosh, nervous me. I had a serge of blogging again, i dont know why. Ahaha! I miss the old me, always so happy, probably bcause i still had you. I woke up everyday smiling to myself, thinking "Damn, i had the best man ever." You're neither sweet nor caring-to-an-extent but i just enjoy the accompany of you. You're always joking and making me laugh, oh damn it, whr are you right now! I really dont know what i've bcome now ................
Well, i don't know why i put that as my title but yeah, I'm constantly reminding myself that today will be a brand new day. Apparently, its not working. T.T After so many months, I'm still grieving over the same guy, and that's kinda stupid. Friends has always been asking me to move on, he isn't worth it, blahblahblah. Yes, i know all these but i love this guy, i really do. Everyday is crazy, but yeah, i have to live that way. I tried all methods to stop thinking about the same old thing, however, it looks like they all failed. I want to ask him out, yet asking him out send my heart thumping like mad, just like his my crush or something. It isn't like the past anymore, i can see him anytime i want, he'll just appear. Well, i guess he has a new girl in his heart now. I don't know how far they've went, but i have a hunch things will blossom between them? Yeah, i think so. Although he doesn't admit to it, but yeah, he probably like this girl a lot. Ahaha, silly me. I really find myself stupid, like super stupid. He got me falling down again and again, yet i keep trying to stand up and keep trying to get him back. REAL SILLY right? Just like a cockroach, like what people always say, 打不死的蟑螂精神! Tomorrow is 11/11/11! Should i do a cliche action, and start posting a wish? Yes i should, but i'll do that in advance, so that my wish would be queuing right in front of the line of wishes. AHAHAHA! 
Hi people, i'm once again.. back! Exams are over, results are coming back soon. Gosh, nervous me. I had a serge of blogging again, i dont know why. Ahaha! I miss the old me, always so happy, probably bcause i still had you. I woke up everyday smiling to myself, thinking "Damn, i had the best man ever." You're neither sweet nor caring-to-an-extent but i just enjoy the accompany of you. You're always joking and making me laugh, oh damn it, whr are you right now! I really dont know what i've bcome now ................